Interview from June 13, 2007...


"This thing on?" Mystery purrs to herself. "Hmmmm. Testing. Testing. OK. You there Pee Wee? ... Pee Wee?"

All Mystery could hear was staticky dog barking in her headphones. Mystery scratches at the dials and the barks quickly twist into a clear yappy, highstrung voice saying,"OK OK I hear ya. My publicist is barking all over me for our next appointment. Whatcha got?"

"...I got some time for that attitude". Mystery looks over her clipboard notes... "Let's see... looks like your back in this year's ugliest dog in the world contest. We wanted to run some questions by you to see if you deserve our vote. Emily, my uh...other half, ...seems to have finished her Cat to Dog Vox Translator so let's officially record a test for the patent office." Flipping through her notes, Mystery moves in closer to the mic...


E: How many paws am i holding up? 

PWM: Uh, I see 5????

What color are your eyes? 

Doggy Brown!
 
Who are seeing as the tough competition this year for World's Ugliest Dog? There must be some real winners out there.

I'm not worried about the competition. I'm the best looking ugly dog out there. 

Do you talk much to last year's winner, Archie, or are you not on talking terms?

We don't talk at all. He's too famous now.
 
Dig the mohawk. El Natural?

Totally au natural! I was born punk rock.
 
I have some letters to mail. Can I mail you the stamps to lick? 

Show me some yummy human food and the drool will flow. Then I can lick all the stamps you need me to!
 
Why is your nose growing crooked? Are you a sorta-good liar, or just a bad liar? 

Heh Heh. Me and my brother got into a fight in the womb and he knocked my nose crooked!
 
How many doggy whiskers do you have?

Approximately 666
 
What is your average day like?

I wake up, take a nap, eat, take a nap, and then pee on my mom's tulips. Then I take another nap and then I might play with my brother Evil Ed and my sister Lily Munster
 
What is your average night like?

At night it's my duty to make my mom as uncomfortable as possible while she tries to sleep.
 
How is your vision? Would you be interested in some modified goggles that see thru dog house walls?

I can already see through dog house walls. Thanks though.
 
I come from the Land of Strange, do you know much about you Chinese Crested/Japanese Chin mix mutt heritage?

I know that Chinese Cresteds were used by chinese sailors to keep the mice population under control on the boats. I don't know anything about Japanese Chins. They grew Japanese goattees?
 
Have you always been bald?

Ever since i was a little dog fetus.
 
What was your most embarrassing moment?

Sometimes I mistake people's furniture for fire hydrants. That can be embarrassing. But when you look as good as I do, it's tough getting embarrassed.
 

Pee Wee, you have our vote for the 2007 World's Ugliest Dog Contest. Good luck and keep it Ugly.